Postpartum depression. Bright red stretch marks. Only 10 lbs less than when I delivered 4 months ago. Hiding behind a baby. Still wearing maternity clothes. Trying to find motivation in the exhaustion that is motherhood. Trying to "get my old body back". Obsessing over it, really.
But that body is gone. No matter what I weigh, this is a different body than before. I grew life with this body. I carried my daughter as long as I could with this body. This body went through unimaginable pain. This body has been stretched, torn, worn down, and exhausted.
This body is also my daughter's favorite place to sleep. These arms will always be a safe place for her to run to. This tummy might bear another child, it might not. This hair I'm losing will grow back. These stretchmarks will fade a little. I am working on making this body healthy, but it may never look like it once did.
But most importantly. This body is just a vessel for my heart and soul. It is just flesh and bone that I use to serve God and love on my family.
I am still learning to embrace the changes. I am trying to have grace. I am trying to find confidence. After all, I am only 4 months postpartum. But the expectations I find myself trying to rise to... are just not fair to myself.
I was really inspired by this movement, it has been popping up all over my IG today. Let me know if you shared yours 🖤